Oh Hai Again (MOVIE REVIEW)
Sorry I have not posted a new entry in a while. I know the ten people who read this missed me dearly.
SO! What new games are out right now? Well, there’s the much anticipated Gears of War 2, I know all the 360 gamers (myself included) who did not shell out 60 bucks for it cannot wait to play it. The Wii’s looking a little pale right now, with only Wii music being new for it. PS3 just got BioShock, congrats guys, only took you a year to play. On the multiplatform side, Mirror’s Edge and Fallout 3 just came out, with Rock Band 2 going multiplatform just in time to compete with Guitar Hero 4. Oh, what’s that, you want a review? Fine, here’s a quick movie review, because I’m playing Fallout 3 and can’t be bothered to beat it yet. Hell, let’s make it a coustume piece epic I got dragged into viewing by my Mom. Fuck yall bitches!
REVIEW: The Dutchess
This film tells the story of uh…fuck I can’t remember, but it was the girl who played Elizibeth in the Pirates of the Carribean movies, so let’s call her Liz. Liz is 16 when her bitch of a mother makes her get married to this duke, who’s kind of a douche. So she losses her virginity and gives birth to a girl, which is not how the duke wanted the birth to turn out, so he’s a wee-bit pissed. Fast-forward 6 years, she’s given birth to one more girl and adopted a 9-year old girl the duke had because he’s a man-whore. Liz is a big fashion designer who’s uber-popular and this is pissing off the duke. She also makes friends with some girl who we will call “whore” because that’s what she is and I could not remember the name. Liz falls for a childhood friend, and also takes Whore into the Duke’s huge-ass house. This leads to the highlight of the film, where Whore teaches Liz the joys of jacking-off with a scene where she fingers Liz(Off camera, sadly) and gives her a sexual fantasy about the friend she fell for. Some shit happens, Whore fucks the Duke, Liz is pissed, sleeps with dude she fell for, who we’ll call “Bill”. Anyway, Duke rapes Liz, gets son, Bill sleeps with Liz, gets daughter, sad ending when Bill maries someone else because Duke threatens death. So-so.
Rating: $$$
Later homies.
3 years ago by dangerfly