My near EPIC Return part 1
How do you all do? all three of you that read this blog? how have you been in my 4 months or so absence? well I’m fine and thanks for asking… So in my epic winsauce of of a return I will review a whopping 4 games for you (that’s right 4 games)in a 3 part seires. it’s been a long journey but let’s get started:
Oblivion:
Oblivion is a highly special interest game and by far my favorite of the RPG genre. It is better than sex, it’s better than that one last cigarette… when things are going your way… but when they aren’t, it’s a bloody pus-spewing maggot in hell. It will make even the hardest of the hardcore gamers cry like little babies when their lvl 42 paladin gets crushed by a giant red dragon.
Oblivon breathes new life into the elder scrolls series and the RPG genre. They game is by far the most realistic RPG i’ve ever played, and not just because of the graphics which are good enough to make even the oldest gal wet. It is amazing because of how people react to you. how easy it is to die at the hands of some evil critter. I can admit that even I was afraid of sewer rats at the start of the game.
Oblivon is about an adventurer (you), that is either an elf, dark elf, wood elf, nord(human), royalty(pretty human), or an orc, that is a male or female and can look however hideous or sexual as you want. The adventurer is freed from a dark dungeon by the king of cyrodil. as you and the king travel through the royal sewers. you learn that the kings bloodline has ended but there is one heir left to the throne. not long after you learn this. the king is assasinated and you bust take the kings amulet to the hidden heir he had with a prostitue or something and restore the bloodline or the world will fall into chaos… sounds easy right? WRONG. when you go and attempt to give some kid the amulet of kings. you learn fast that oblivion is not for the weak hearted. Just when you think one quest is done another pops up and punches you square in the face, literally half the time. My character in the game is a level 18 dark elf and that may sound sucky but believe me it’s a bitch to level up in this game. i had almost gotten done with the main quest and a majority of the side quests and just when i thaught i saw the end in sight… BAM EXPANSION PACK!!!
Oblivon Has 2 expansion packs, both of which are incredulous: Nights of the nine and the shivering isles. Nights of the nine isn’t so much an expansion pack it’s more of another mission series and is much longer than the main quest in oblivion. you travel around and collect all the gods’ armour and weapons and at the end you will fight the dark lord suran or something like that and it’s very slow paced. The second expansion pack: The shivering isles. is about a mysterious Door that opens up in the middle of a giant lake and all who open the door come out speaking in tongues and saying “he’s watching me!, He sees all!!!!” and other such possesed nonsense. so what do you do? of course you open the door. what else would advance the plot? hmm? taking the job in Chydenhalle? no you open the door and learn that Sheogorath, the dark lord of the isles seeks a mortal as his champion? who else but Faer, the lvl 18 dark elf, eh? and well before you know your fighting clansmen and shouting “for the brotherhood” at the top of your lungs.
But i digress… i geuss that’s all i can entice you into playing it. But if you do wish to play it give it a good running chance… the sewer level at the start is so slow a tortoise could out run it but give it a chance at yit will grow on you.
score:
Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 10/10
storyline: 7/10
Weapons: 10/10
A/I: 10/10
Final score 9.1/10
Gears of war 2:
